Scene ONE
Two Munchkin villagers are building a scrarecrow. Only a head is on stage. They discuss the forthcoming scarecrow trail.
Gillikin: Yes put her head on there
V2: That looks OK… a bit wonky (straightens the head) and the flippin' hats a bit floppy (adds the hat)
V1: Do you think we'll win the best scrarecrow?
V2: Well at least we'll be a head. Indicates head
V1: Maybe so but the scrarecrow needs to be the best.
V2: And at the moment we aint got no body
V1: We got to get somebody
V2: Anybody?
V1: Anybody can be be somebody - at the moment we have no body we need a body
V2: Everybody?
V1: No not everybody can be somebody but anybody can be somebody
V2: Will this do?
while V1 + V2 are off stage looking for a body the head could mime while Queens 'find me somebody to love' plays LC
//gets body from wings //
V1: I'll add that on. That looks fine
V2: Yeah it'll never scare anything looking like that wikth its flippin floppy hat… its completly 'armless
Enter third villager(v3)
v3: Here they are. Ive made them from my grans support stockings. puts on arms
V1: No longer armless… this scarecrow has whole arm-ies on it's sides…. this scarecrow is wikid.
v2: The opposition won't have a leg to stand on.
v3: Our scarecrow hasn't got a leg to stand on.
V2: She's like your dad on a Saturday night
V1: What…doing Kareoke?
v2: No leg less! acts drunk
Enter fourth Villager (v4)
V4: I have some legs
V1: We all have legs!
V4: No I have legs for the scarecrow.
V2: And I have eyes for you.
V4: Get off you wet lettuce.
V2: I was talking to the scarecrow…. you look great in your flip[pin floppy hat
v4: The legs needs to be about 24 inches longer.
V2: What do you mean?
v2: They lack two feet!
v1: Two feet and some hands.
v3: Two feet and hands that are handsome…. It'll be lucky to have any type of hands
v4: I have the missing bits
They complete the scarecrow and then the bell rings
Scarecrow: looks up: looks left: looks right: Sees its clear : Hello!
Song: Dingle Dangle Scarecrow
When all the cows were sleeping
And the sun had gone to bed
Up jumped the scarecrow
And this is what he said!
I'm a dingle, dangle scarecrow
With a flippin' floppy hat
I can shake my hands like this
And shake my feet like that
When all the hens were roosting
And the moon behind the cloud
Up jumped the scarecrow
And shouted very loud
I'm a dingle, dangle scarecrow
With a flippin' floppy hat
I can shake my hands like this
And shake my feet like that
When the dogs were in the kennels
And the doves were in the loft
Up jumped the scarecrow
And whispered very soft
I'm a dingle, dangle scarecrow
With a flippin' floppy hat
I can shake my hands like this
And shake my feet like that
I'm a dingle, dangle scarecrow
With a flippin' floppy hat
I can shake my hands like this
And shake my feet like that
Wicked With of the EAST enters
Witch: Thats a rubbish dance and a rubbish song!
Audience???
Witch: Don't look at me like that you nasty little children I hate children. I hate your nasty silly little faces.I hate your snivelling snotty noses. Your horrible parents and the your stupid brothers and sisters. In fact, I hate everything each day I pull out names of things to hate more than usual from my unlucky hat, today it's scarecrows, and tommorow pulls out note from hat lions, scarecrows and lions. Do you know what this is? (She holds a lighter)
Scarecrow: No? what is it naive curious
Witch: hahaha Are you brainless? its fire dimwit if you get near this you'll burn and they'll be no more irratating straw headed scarecrows like you. Do you like it when I do this … or this…. how about this..(teasing her with her cruelty)
Scarecrow: Do be careful …. I have to win in the scarecrow trail today.
Witch: OK I'll magic you onto the scarecrow trail (to audience) but I'll put her at the end of Old Gate Avenue so no one ever sees her! …. and when the trail is finished I will burn her… with all the scarecrows out on show I'll burn them all …. and all you as well (manic laughter)
Back at the witches house
Witch: Damn I can never remember what day these diffrent bins are collected there's just to many of them is it mankymauve bin monday or tinbin tope tuesday? It must be Purple bin day today because its the most full.
witch goes inside, Handsome binman enters
Binman: oh no, not the witches house, i hate this part of my job. Well i hate most of my job i hate working around all this smelly rubbish and the Great Wizard has given us so many different bins it's hard to remember which is the right one to collect. I think its Orange bins today, no green, oh i don't know, i only do this job so i can get a house for me and my girlfriend. I do love my girlfriend so much…Oh no, there's no green bin to collect, i'll just have to leave this one here i hope the Witch doesn't notice. begins to sneak out
Witch: Oi, you, why haven't you collected my bin?!
Binman: er, I'm sorry, Mrs East, today is green binday and you have put out your purple bin, I'll be happy to take your green bin, if you can find it.
Witch: But this purble one needs emptying the green one is half empty already, NOW EMPTY MY BIN, Kicks it over I know you, your one half of that sickly lovey dovey couple that live on the main street. I hate love Whetches, Now if you don't take my rubbish right away without another word i will make you into the most disgusting smelly creature who is entirely unloveable. hahaha
Binman: Okay, I'll take itBANGbinman falls into rubbish pile
Witch: I thought i said not another word. ahahaahaa. now rubbish, get up and leave my garden and hide yourdelf away so no one can see your hideous face.
Rubbish pile crawls away//
Right so I have got rid of the scarecrows, That leaves all of tommorow for lions and the day after for children
Lyin: enters
Witch: Hallo are you a child or a lyin?
Lyin: I could be…. why?
Witch: Could be? Well because I hate children and lions
Lyin: Oh no I'm not a child or a lion… I.m (thinks) a genius!
I've been thrown out of Aston on Trent for being too clever
Witch: Well that doesnt prove very much…. what are you a genius at
//At this stage the witch loses patience with the lyin…. she calls back the scarecrow and the binman and threatens to do them all in ….. there is nothing that can save them //
so at this point the munchlins arrive to save the lyin' and the witch turns on them. They are all going to kill their uncles and aunts - much wailing etc
Ends in manic witch rage…. green lights etc ….lightning … and the sound of a BIG WIND!!!!!
